Kids need to hear their Dad's voice

The other week I attended a communication master class where one of the topics was discovering your voice. The speaker talked about how every person has a voice that not only deserves to be heard but needs to be heard. Over the past few days leading into Fathers Day I have been revisiting this statement in my role as a dad. I have been realising that many men have lost their voice in the family. Sometimes it happens because the marriage has broken up, long working hours or feeling that they have nothing to offer as a parent. A sense of feeling inadequate.

As I have talked about this with my mates I have learnt that a fathers voice is essential to the development of a son and daughter. The voice of the father is where our children need to gain their affirmation. Mums will give voice to nurture but fathers give voice to affirmation. Think of the most famous father son quote in history 'This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased'.

Our daughters need the voice of their father for their development. Psychological studies show that daughters gain more self esteem from their fathers voice than their mum and often career decisions are shaped by fathers.

Our kids need to hear the voice of their father in their lives. In fact the best Fathers Day gift isn't what the children give us but what we Dads give our families. Our voice. Costs little but has eternal ramifications.

Today's Generation Gap

Is it harder parenting in the 21st Century than the 20th Century? The last couple of months I have been challenged with how little I know about the new technology that is sweeping the planet. At one stage I used to wear with pride the badge that said ‘I have never visited Myspace/Facebook/Youtube’. That was until my kids starting becoming old enough to want to dabble in that part of the web.

Now I’m beginning to understand the generation gap stuff that my parents warned me about. I used to think I was hip enough. Years of working in youth ministry and now over a decade working in the media made me believe that I was up with all the trends and technology. I knew I was relatively ignorant about computers (some would say scared) and my internet ability was limited to what I needed to use for research purposes at work. Recently I have had a cathartic moment that computers and internet are going to last longer than Amco flares or leg warmers.

I was wary because most of this internet stuff seemed to be self focussed. There was Myspace, youtube, iPhone, iTunes. I was fearful that perhaps today’s youth were growing up to be self absorbed. Even what I still call mobile phones really aren’t. They had become electronic communication devices that take photos. A lot of this web2.0 technology is certainly impersonal communication. It is less and less about personal face to face or even ear to ear communicating with people. It’s more about keeping in touch, letting people know you are around without necessarily having a conversation. Sometimes I think its more about leaving an electronic footprint that says I do exist. Prior to that I guess you could be alive on this planet but very few people would know that. Web 2.0 gives people the opportunity to announce via facebook, myspace or now twitter that yes I do exist.

So is it wrong? I’m still not totally convinced that it’s ok. I know it is not legally or perhaps morally wrong. In reality I know that my kids will eagerly embrace this technology while I somewhat unwillingly jump into this cyber maze. I do know that I still need to be vigilant in making sure my kids get enough social contact that is face to face without iPod earphones stuck in their ears. Places like church, sport and school will give them the opportunity to engage with real people away from any cyber personality they or their facebook friends have. I also need to monitor their cyber space stuff, making sure it doesn’t consume them. I also need to ask lots of questions about their cyber world and do my own research e.g. facebook/myspace is ok; MSN is fraught with danger.

And I know realise that today’s generation gap is not a battle over music or clothes like it was for my parents but is over the use of cyber technology.
Now more than ever us parents need to pray.