If I was to ask you today how to define your family; what would you say? What are the things that make your family different from any family in church or the neighbourhood?
Ritual (n): activity that is performed religiously.
As we prepare for Christmas I’m struck by the many rituals families have particularly around Christmas holidays. Rituals are the things families do consciously or even unconsciously together. They can be deliberately created traditions such as always going to the same camping ground for holidays, always going to the grandparents on Christmas Eve or Dad always tells the same stories at Christmas lunch. Sometimes they happen accidentally and seem to be always repeated like promising every year to post Christmas cards on time and every year you manage to post them on Christmas Eve.
The thing about family rituals are they are the habits that define your family and become the glue that keeps your family together. If you like they are the constants in an ever changing world. They are the behaviours that help a family stay together or even over time when the children grow up and leave actually come back. They are the constants that create memories of shared experiences.
In the Bible there is no greater example than the story of the prodigal son. When the son is in the depths of despair he remembers what his family life was like and what he is missing out on. He realizes that it wasn’t money or possessions that defined him and brought him happiness but the love of a family that he really yearned for.
Resilience (n): ability to spring or recoil back after bending or being stretched.
What family rituals or behaviours do is breed resilience into the family as a unit and as individuals. Rituals can be used as places of refuge when the things go wrong. When the family unit or even one member is under pressure returning to a ritual like the family Sunday lunch can be a way of coping or gaining support or encouragement. Positive family rituals build resilience into you and your children. It helps them bounce back from adversity. These rituals become the foundations that success in our life is built on.
As Christians one of the best rituals we can introduce into our family is how we celebrate success or failure. I have noticed particularly in Australian culture people celebrate success and failure by the volume of alcohol they consume. The mark of a family of Christians is they celebrate success or failure by spending time with God in thankfulness or seeking guidance. It is that very ritual (behaviour) that builds resilience in our life and ultimately success in living a Christian life.
What rituals does you family do? I would love to hear about them. Drop me a note. I’d love to know how those rituals define your family.
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